


18 Centimeters

by andrearitsu



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Regret, Sequel, abusive behaviour, date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 02:29:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15500328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrearitsu/pseuds/andrearitsu
Summary: It's been a year since Kaoru and Chisato met each other again as high school students. Their "relationship" has consisted of months of unhealthy habits between the two. Suddenly, Chisato takes the initiative on asking Kaoru out on a date... But there's hidden motives to her invitation.





	18 Centimeters

Seta Kaoru stood elegantly beneath a lamppost in the park. Despite the hour, it was warm enough outside for her to be dressed in a simple white shirt, a loose tie and a pair of jet-black jeans. This evening was unusual in more ways than the temperature however, as the person who had requested her presence was a very special person to Kaoru.

She had been waiting in this very spot for the last forty-five minutes, as she always made sure to be early to an appointed time. Finally, she could hear footsteps approaching. With a warm smile on her lips, she gently bowed and greeted the girl she had been eagerly awaiting.

“A fine evening, my dear Chisato.”

Shirasagi Chisato walked with firms steps towards the taller lady, wearing a yellow summer dress with a matching handbag and a pair of sunglasses despite the sun already setting. She was fifteen minutes late, but as far as she was concerned that was simply fashionable. It also allowed her to test Kaoru’s patience a bit, which she had a natural habit of doing.

Once by Kaoru’s side she gently raised her head, allowing for the two of them to look each other directly in the eyes. Chisato was smiling, at the very least on the outside, as she responded to Kaoru’s flattery.

“Indeed it is...”

Kaoru got down on one knee to kiss the back of Chisato’s hand, but before her lips had so much as grazed the skin, Chisato had retracted the hand to place it beneath Kaoru’s chin.

“Such a thing will not be necessary, Kao-chan.”

“My apologies.” She stood back up, somewhat embarrassed at Chisato’s use of her childhood nickname but trying to not let it show. “So, tell me, how come you asked me out here?”

“What do you mean?”

“You generally avoid talking to me alone in public and you’ve rejected me most if not all of the times I’ve invited you out since…”

“Since we were kids.” Chisato’s smile faded as she twirled her hair around her fingers. “It is as it appears, I’ve asked you out on a date.”

“Truly?”

“Are you getting cold feet?”

“No such thing, I would be honored to escort you as a knight would a pri-”

“Wonderful, then let’s go.”

Grabbing a hold of Kaoru’s hand, Chisato took the lead and began walking deeper into the park. Though she was confused about the situation and thrown off guard by the behaviour of her childhood friend, Kaoru felt joy over the prospect of spending some real quality time with Chisato after all this time.

Things had changed a lot since they were children, though what had stayed the same were the way Kaoru felt about Chisato. Back then they were playing because their parents knew each other and it took no time at all before she began looking up to the bold and assertive blonde girl.

But as they got older, they had less time to spend together and it felt more and more as if they were growing apart. Kaoru took up acting, Chisato got scouted by an idol agency and ever since then things had been strained between the two. The closest thing they had to a relationship could in no way be seen as healthy.

And yet, as Chisato guided Kaoru through the park, it almost felt like they were kids once more.

“Say, Chisato, where are we headed?”

“There’s a carnival nearby that’s open late on weekends.”

Kaoru was aware of the carnival, Kokoro had talked about wanting Hello, Happy World to play there. She was surprised Chisato would choose a place so likely to have larger crowds of people but she decided not to question it for now.

“We’re here, Kao-chan.”

“So we are… Say, why are you calling me that?”

Chisato didn’t respond, which was less of a shock to Kaoru than anything before it. Chisato would revert back to childhood nicknames from time to time and it suggested she was in a good mood. Even so, Kaoru started to feel like there was something to her sudden affectionate behaviour that was somewhat ominous.

Once inside, Kaoru offered her arm to the shorter girl who happily grabbed on to it, finally letting Kaoru feel like she was gaining back some control in the events of this evening. The carnival wasn’t packed, but definitely had quite a good number of people of all ages walking around.

They bought some cotton candy at a food stand before Kaoru decided to try her luck at winning a large plush bear for her date at a shooting gallery. Though she had to make do with a key chain consolation prize, their short playful time together so far reawakened something Kaoru hadn’t felt for a long time.

“It’s funny, I always try so hard to make other people feel happy that I sometimes forget what it’s like to feel happy myself. I’m glad to be here with you, Chisato.”

“Me too, Kao-chan. I’ve dreamt of this day.”

“I must ask however, what made you change your mind? Last we spoke you cursed me out and told me you hated me before leaving as if nothing happened.”

“I just accepted that what I wanted was within my reach and that I had to claim it instead of only hurting myself over and over expecting it to work out on its own.”

“Chisato… I’m so happy to hear that.”

“Hey, let’s go there next, Kao-chan.”

Looking to where Chisato was pointing, Kaoru saw a two-story haunted house attraction. She saw no reason to not comply with her request, so they got in line for it. Shortly after they had arrived, Kaoru overheard some voices she recognized from further back in the line. She glanced over her shoulder only to spot some first year students from Hanasakigawa, Chisato’s school.

“Is that!?”

“It’s Kaoru-san, from Haneoka’s theater club!”

“She’s so handsome, who’s the other person with her?”

“Can’t tell with those sunglasses.”

“Ah, I wish Kaoru would take me through the haunted house.”

“M-maybe if we wait outside we can ask her to go with us as well?”

Kaoru gazed at Chisato who seemed unaware of the girls behind them. She considered saying something but didn’t want to risk ruining the mood. She would simply have to reject the girls when they came back out and see to it that she went with them some other time.

“Our turn, Kao-chan.”

Once inside the haunted house they had to make their way up a set of stairs to reach a dark maze, with the sound of running water echoing through the path ahead. It didn’t take long before Kaoru felt a chill down her spine. She was never good with spooky things, but figured a carnival haunted house wouldn’t be a big deal.

“Quite impressive acoustics in here” Kaoru swallowed some saliva. “Good production values.”

“It’s certainly atmospheric, can’t wait to see the monsters in here.”

“The monsters?”

“Mhm, I heard they were quite terrifying.”

“Aah, I see.” Trying to keep her cool, Kaoru tried changing the subject. “So someone recommended this place to you?”

“Not exactly, I overheard some girls at school talking about it.” Chisato clung tighter to Kaoru’s arm, “Supposedly a girl fainted in here when she got too scared.”

“T-that sounds dangerous…”

“I know, isn’t it exciting, Kao-chan?”

“That’s one way to look at ...GYAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

A high pitched scream rang out through the walls as Kaoru felt a cold and wet hand on her shoulder. Before she was able to get a good look at what had touched her she had fell to the floor. Sure enough, in the corner stood a monster, or rather a person dressed as one. Kaoru gathered that it was some sort of fish man, but tried not to think about it.

“Kao-chan, are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine… I’m just... Acting! You know, for the atmosphere.” Kaoru cleared her throat and got back up on her feet. “Horror is no fun if you don’t play along, after all.”

“Of course.” Chisato tugged Kaoru on the arm so that they could keep moving.

Some screams and scares later, Kaoru and Chisato found themselves heading back down stairs to leave the haunted house. Kaoru felt her body shaking as they left, she didn’t want to imagine what a mess her hair must look like right now. That’s when she remembered the girls waiting outside.

“There she is!” The girls were quick to spot them leaving, “Let’s ask her together. Kaoru-san!”

Kaoru sees the girls approaching and brushes her bangs out of her eyes so that she won’t look too bad when responding to them. But before she’s able to say a single word, her lips are sealed by someone else.

Chisato, who took off her sunglasses inside the dark maze, have pulled down Kaoru by her tie to give her a deep french kiss by surprise. Whatever mess her hair was like before, it’s quickly made worse with her date’s free fingers running through and clutching it.

Part-way through the kiss, Chisato opens her eyes and looks at the girls who were about to approach them. They’re visibly stunned by what they’re seeing, much to her delight. She pulls back from the kiss and moves her lips to Kaoru’s ear, whispering into them so that no one else can hear.

_“I told you, I’m claiming what I want... Kao-chan.”_

She lets go of the tie and entwines her hand with Kaoru’s like when they had walked to the carnival before turning towards the girls.

“That’s Shirasagi-senpai!”

“What do we do now? They’re clearly an item.”

“But she’s an idol, she can’t da-”

“Hush, she’s coming.”

“Shirasagi-senpai, good evening!” the three exclaimed in unison.

“Hello there, girls.” Chisato smiles at the first-grade students. “Enjoy the carnival.”

Kaoru couldn’t bear to look at the girls as they passed by, worried that their disappointed faces would become a lasting memory. She was already going to reject them so why did Chisato have to take it too far by causing a scene in front of them.

But she felt that the biggest sin was that she didn’t hate what Chisato did. She loved every second of it, despite how it must have hurt the three first-graders to have their expectations shattered like that. For that she couldn’t forgive herself, no matter what her heart or her lust was telling her.

Once they had gotten far away from the haunted house attraction, Kaoru decided she had to say something. Slipping her hand away from Chisato’s fingers, she took a deep breath and prepared herself for what might follow.

“Chisato.”

The shorter girl stopped, her back facing Kaoru.

“Yes, Kao-chan?”

“That was unnecessary. I had already intended to turn them down, gently.”

“If the outcome is the same, what does it matter?”

“They were hurt from their expectations being suddenly shattered, I could have--”

“Since when do you care if you hurt someone’s feelings?”

Kaoru froze at Chisato’s question. She couldn’t really understand why Chisato would ask such a thing, after all, she always made sure to not leave any girl hurt if possible. She could feel her nails dig into her skin as her hands closed to fists in frustration.

“Chisato, you know that--”

“Kao-chan. Do you love me?”

“I…” Kaoru sighed, “I’ve loved you ever since we were kids.”

“Then close your eyes.”

She nervously complied and soon she could feel Chisato tugging on her tie again. This time, a kiss didn’t follow, instead Kaoru felt something being placed over her eyes and tied behind her head, like a blindfold.

“Follow me, no questions.”

Grabbing her hand once more, Chisato guided Kaoru through the carnival area for several minutes until they eventually sat down next to each other. Kaoru felt the shorter girl lean her head on her shoulder for a second before she started talking again.

“I wish I could just hate you and move on, Kao-chan.”

Kaoru stayed silent.

“Yet each time I try, I find myself drawn back to you. It’s not fair.”

“Perhaps that’s fate bringing us together.”

“When I first saw you again last year I felt my defenses fall apart, everything I had spent years building up were decimated in an instant. My Kao-chan was there in front of me again. I felt like a failure for giving into my weakness, but decided it was worth it if it meant I could have you back.”

“Then why did you reject me?”

“Because the moment I let my guard down, you stabbed me in the back.” Chisato raised her head from Kaoru’s shoulder, “Every time I saw you there was a new girl by your side that you’d pamper with the same act. They were all the same, just another number on your list.”

“Chisato…” Kaoru suddenly felt a rocking sensation where she was sitting. She was moving. “Chisato, I’m just trying to make them happy.”

“Yet when I finally approached you, you didn’t see me the way you used to anymore. I wasn’t your Chii-chan any longer. I wasn’t the girl you’d confide in or your one and only love. I was just another one of your _kittens_. You treated me no different from the rest.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is.” Chisato removed the blindfold from Kaoru’s eyes, revealing that they were in a wagon on a ferris wheel, “You tried to pamper me with your prince nonsense, you would flirt with me in the most infantilizing ways, all while expecting me to just be cool with being treated the same as some stranger who happens to like your sappy monologues.”

Kaoru started to feel dizzy. She wasn’t good with heights and she would never have agreed to ride a ferris wheel had she known that was where they were heading. Chisato stood up and looked out over the carnival as they reached 90 degrees west on the wheel.

“You say you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, yet you’ve spent this past year treating me like as part of a crowd, expecting me to just smile and be happy in response.”

“Chisato... I’m feeling sick.”

“How many girls have you dated? Kissed? Slept with? Do you even keep count? You say you’ve loved me since we were kids but you still seem perfectly happy slotting me in randomly between other girls who are more willing to fawn over your acting.”

“I…”

“Don’t answer. It would only make me hurt more.”

“I’m sorry.” Unable to take the view, Kaoru puts her head in her palms, “Please, can we talk when we get back down?”

“I was willing to give myself to you... But I can not share you, I can not allow myself to just be one of your adoring fans. It hurts too much.”

As the wagon reached its top height, Chisato turned back towards Kaoru. Her cheeks were drenched with tears as she approached the girl barely sitting up in the wagon. Running her fingers through Kaoru’s hair, she sits down in front of her.

“I’m jealous. I’m underhanded. I’m an awful and terrible human being. All I can do is hurt others before they hurt me… Or in this case, as revenge for how I’ve already been hurt.”

“Chis…”

“I know I shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Chii-- Chii-chan... ” Kaoru lost the last bit of her composure as she burst into tears as well.

“Kao-chan…” Chisato embraced Kaoru, “I’m sorry.”

“...”

“I didn’t want to hurt you. I just wanted you to understand how I felt…”

Kaoru was like a lost puppy in Chisato’s arms, following her every move in hope of closure and protection. Chisato hadn’t seen her like this since they were children. The weak and fragile girl she used to protect was right in front of her.

The salty taste of tears were mixed up with the saliva as the girls kissed again. Chisato felt a weight in her chest over her actions, but couldn’t help herself as she began unbuttoning Kaoru’s shirt and tracing her body with her fingers. She wanted to be the only girl to ever see and feel her this way, she wanted to take back her love from those who had stolen her.

“I’m sorry, Chii-chan…”

“Am I the only one who knows your true self, Kao-chan?”

Kaoru nodded, to Chisato’s delight. She touched Kaoru’s skin, noticing marks here and there. Some she had made herself, some that were no doubt from Kaoru’s kittens. She gazed into the ruby eyes in front of her, still crying as their owner was shivering in her embrace.

“It’s okay, Kao-chan, I will keep you safe.”

“Chii-chan… Don’t let go of me, please.”

“I won’t.”

Closing her eyes, Kaoru felt herself calming down from Chisato’s reassurance. For the rest of the ride, she sat within Chisato’s embrace, feeling secure and warm. Once they got out of the wagon, Chisato led Kaoru off to a calmer area.

“What do you want me to do?” Kaoru asked after having collected herself. “If I stop flirting with other girls and devote all my time to you, would that make you happy?”

“It would.”

“Then I’ll do it. For you.”

“No, you won’t. I won’t allow that.”

Kaoru felt confused at Chisato’s apparent sudden change in motives.

“Why?”

“Because… You make a lot of girls happy. In turn, you feel happier about yourself, right?”

“Yes, but--”

“I’ve done enough cruel things tonight, I can’t ask you to give all of that up.”

“But then how will you be happy? How can I make you happy?”

“Right now, you can’t.” Chisato turned to face Kaoru, “The way things are now, I will never truly be happy with you or without you.”

Kaoru put her arms around Chisato’s head and hugged her tight, with the shorter girl allowing her to be in control of their closeness for the first time during their date.

“Wait for me!”

“What?”

“In another year, we’ll have graduated. I won’t be surrounded by my little kittens in need of my assistance the way I am now.”

“You would pledge yourself to me then should I wait?”

“If you’d still want me.”

“Kao-chan... “ Chisato looks up at Kaoru’s face, “Yes, I will wait for you.”

“I’m sorry for breaking down like that, in the ferris wheel.”

“I got to see the true Kao-chan again, but I’m sorry for forcing it on you.”

“Heights is something I can’t handle, no matter how much practice I get.”

“That’s not entirely true.”

“What do you mean?”

“We used to be the same height, Kao-chan. Now look at you.” Chisato grabbed ahold of Kaoru’s tie again, pulling her down. “I have to do this just to get you down on my level.”

Kaoru chuckled slightly before they kissed again.

As their night came to a close, they both knew they’d be hurt over and over again before being given a chance at shared happiness. But for just this one night, they felt like all the pain and mistakes they’d subject themselves to didn’t matter. For the first time in years, they felt only how much they loved each other.

“Chisato, I--”

“No. Not _Chisato_ , not tonight.”

“Okay…” Kaoru smiled, “Chii-chan. I love you.”

“I know, Kao-chan. I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> This took a long time to write because I had multiple cross-country trips happening this month that got in the way of my writing. But hey, the "sequel" to No Words is finally here. It doesn't feature a sex scene this time, but it's no less angsty.
> 
> The title is a reference to the height difference between Kaoru and Chisato, which I wanted as a title to symbolize how they're just barely kept apart from each other due to how they're hurt. It also ended up becoming a little gag at the end when I decided to end the story on a slightly more cheerful note than my original draft had.
> 
> I have to admit, I don't feel super secure in my writing on this one due to how spread out my writing was but also because I struggled with balancing Chisato's worse behvaiour with also keeping her likable. I didn't want this to be a character assassination, because I love Chisato and relate to her and her walls of defenses and jealousy driven anxiety a ton. So I hope that came across in the text rather than her just seeming like a monster. She's a 17 year old girl who's got a stressful life, she's allowed to make some mistakes here and there, y'know?


End file.
